Self Introduction Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Darren Hor, and I am a first-year Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineer at SIT. I am writing to introduce myself as one of your new students in the Critical Thinking and Communicating module.
My interest in engineering started when I was studying in Kent Ridge Secondary School, where I took Design and Technology as one of my subjects during my O-Level Examination. During the time I spent researching and working on my final project, I developed a strong interest in engineering.
To learn more about engineering, I decided to further my studies at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, where I graduated with a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering. I also had the opportunity to work at a social enterprise, WateRoam, as an operations engineer. While working, I was inspired by how a group of people managed to pool their ideas together to develop products that could help the less fortunate live in better conditions. This further fueled my passion for continuing my path as an engineer.
One of the strengths I have identified in my communication style is that I am a confident speaker. As part of the student council back in Secondary School, I gave morning announcements daily and had facilitative roles where I constantly built up my confidence in speaking. An area I believe I could improve is organizing my thought process better to convey my key points during discussions. Due to this issue, I sometimes tend to go off-topic during a discussion.
My motto is to "live life to its fullest." I aim to make the most out of my life whenever possible. I love traveling and exploring new delicacies and cultures with my friends. Through your teaching, I hope to gain skills that will help me with effective communication for moments where i meet someone new and a first impression really counts. Also ways to and improve my thought process, so that i can be confident that my idea can be conveyed across sucessfully.
Best Regards,
Darren Hor
Hello Darren! Very interesting and well covered introduction letter! There are a few adjustments that I think might help your letter.
ReplyDeletestudying in Kent Ridge ==>studying at. you managed to do so for Ngee Ann Poly so i think it might be a slip :D
last paragraph:
moments where i meet ==> when i
first impression counts would be enough in my opinion.
"Also,"
"ways to improve" theres an extra "and"
Hi Darren,
ReplyDeleteGood and in-depth sharing about your interest in engineering and the reason why you want to be an engineer.
Hello Darren,
ReplyDeleteyour detailed and insightful introduction about your passion for engineering and the motivations driving your desire to pursue a career in this field is greatly elaborated.
Thanks much, Darren, for this fascinating letter, and for your constructive comments on your peers' letters.
ReplyDeleteI'll give more detailed feedback next week.
ReplyDeleteHello Darren
ReplyDeleteIt was an interesting read to know you better , it's great that you have compassion and it fuels you to be an engineer that may impact and help the lives of the lesser fortunate. It is one of the cores that an engineer should have !
In your paragraph : " My motto is to "live life to its fullest." " , there should be a full stop (" . ") after mentioning your motto.
Nonetheless , it was delightful to know more about you and the blog was fluid and easy to read .
Regards
Zhi Xiang
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Darren,
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing and posting this informative letter. You address the key components of the brief and provide interesting details. I really appreciate that the motto you hope to live by, "Live life to the fullest," and I'm glad to see that serving society appears to be one of the ways you feel you can do exactly that.
While this letter is mostly fluent, there are two areas where it can be improved:
1. uneven use of caps
-- I am a first-year Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineer....
-- ... in the Critical Thinking and Communicating module.
-- ...where I took Design and Technology as one of my subjects.
-- ... back in Secondary School, ...
and others.
2. sentence structure
-- Also ways to and improve my thought process, so that i can be confident that my idea can be conveyed across sucessfully. > (fragment) ?
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad